Behind Arnold's Smile

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Written by Tess Superioriad Baluyos

Wednesday, 10 February 2010 20:11

It was a rare opportunity for me… to be one of the media practitioners to be invited by ALAGAD-Mindanao to attend the STI, HIV and AIDS Reorientation Seminar. I thought it was only one of those usual media orientation. What surprised me, though, was when it was announced that somebody will be sharing his experience. What heightened my curiosity was when we were told that due to confidentiality of information, taking of pictures are not allowed, and that we will hide the identity of the person.

The ‘instruction’ made my heart beat faster. It was not something I somehow expected… but I knew I was ready…and deep inside, I was silently happy and even muted, “Now, I could put a face to what I have been reading and hearing about…”

At first glance, he looks like an ordinary, baby-faced, fashionable, boyish, handsome, young guy—full of life, always smiling. But who would ever think that Arnold Rivera (not his real name) is HIV-positive?

And behind that smiling disposition and zest for life, Arnold’s story is worth-sharing and can serve as a lesson to everyone.

Six years ago, Arnold went abroad, full of dreams, not only for himself, but also for his family. His father just retired from work and it would take three more years before his father could start receiving his pension. Arnold’s mother was also sick. He is the eldest in the family and his other siblings are also in school. The situation moved Arnold to do something to help his family.

He was only in third year college then, taking up Hotel and Restaurant Management. Together with his HRM classmates, they were able to find one hotel in the Middle East that did not only give them the on-the-job experience but also promised them a job. Thus, driven by his desire to help his family, coupled with the prospect of getting a new experience, he braved his way to the Middle East.

There, he learned the ropes of surviving, and in as much as his monthly salary was not that big, he found a way to augment his income. He accepted ‘other services” from local guys of other nationalities, including donating his blood seven times to local hospitals of which he was paid P7,000 pesos for every blood donation (it was during one of those blood donation that Arnold was found out to have been infected with HIV).

Having tasted how it was to have money, he felt for more yearnings to socialize. He missed his friends and family back in the Philippines. To fill in the emptiness and the boredom, he has learned to jump from one relationship to the other. Some of his relationships were with men. He also had a relationship with a Malaysian fellow worker that lasted for two years which he considered to be serious. He admitted though, that he just was not contented with one partner. He enjoyed the trysts with a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend.

One day, he was to attend a party, hosted by a Filipino friend. While he was outside the apartment he was renting, waiting for the ride, he was suddenly snatched by two Arab policemen. They dragged him to the nearest precinct. The policemen went back to his apartment and took some of his valuable things, including his passport. He was told he has violated some Arab laws, the reason he has to be deported. And while waiting for his deportation papers, he was put to prison, slept on the floor, fed on camel meat and plain bread.

He was sent back to the Philippines, with only the unwashed clothes he was wearing. He boarded the airplane, still handcuffed. He said it was the most humiliating experience he ever had in his life. He could not look straight in the eyes of the other passengers inside the plane. How he wanted to just evaporate!

When he arrived home, his family members were surprised, as they have not received any notice that he would be coming home. His mother was so worried, especially since he did not bring anything, nothing! His mother inquired what happened to him abroad, and why he went home and all Arnold could say was, “Overstaying.”

Back in the Philippines, Arnold tried to move on with his life… and started looking for another job. Every time he would be asked for his papers (and he knows he has nothing to show), he has learned to quickly say, “It’s okay, I am not interested in the job anymore.” What people do not know is that he badly needs a job, and an income.

Desperate to find a decent job, Arnold decided to use another venue: using the Internet. Hidden behind false identity and pretending to be a woman, he was able to lure foreigners into having a relationship with him. Some of these foreigners were kind enough to send him money. He used the money as his starting capital and put up a small store in Iligan City.

From his store income, he is able to buy his basic maintenance medicines. There are times, though, when he would run out of money to buy those expensive medicines. He could only bear the pain, especially the blisters on his lips, in his gums and the insides of his mouth. He is thankful, however, that some people are kind enough to sometimes give him money for his medicines. There is also one non-government organization (NGO) that takes care of some of his needs.

When asked where could have gotten the infection, he said that he could not be sure from whom, as he said he himself have had multiple partners. He presumes that perhaps his Malaysian girlfriend may have passed it on to him.

For now, he is trying to make the most out of his life. He knows that his life-years are counted, but it does not discourage him from enjoying it, and helping others. He said that he only has himself to blame, knowing fully well that what happened to him is part of his past indiscretions.

Is he is bitter about what of what has become of him? Arnold believes that what he is going through is part of God’s plan for him. He said that since he could remember, he keeps talking to God that whatever happens to him, he hopes it would be for something meaningful. And that’s what he is doing now, as HIV advocate, so that more people would know what are the risks of HIV and how to prevent it, and how people should treat HIV-infected patients.

Arnold is one of the 71 HIV infected cases from Mindanao. This is what the Alliance Against AIDS in Mindanao (ALAGAD Mindanao) reported.

HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. The virus is the one that causes AIDS or Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. AIDS is the last stage of HIV infection.

Modes of transmission of HIV include unprotected sexual intercourse (vaginal/anal) with an infected partners; direct blood contact including blood transfusion, organ transplantation, use of unsterilized needles; maternal or mother to child infection which occurs during pregnancy, delivery or breastfeeding.

HIV is not spread by or through insect bites, caring for someone with AIDS, shaking hands, toilet seats, sharing belongings, and touching and hugging, as what most people think.

Asked how he expects from the society and from organizations that are concerned with the spread of HIV, Arnold said, “I wish there is a hotline where HIV-infected individuals can reach out, without having to face a person. He says that to come out in the open is the most embarrassing situation for people like him. They fear the social stigma that is attached to the disease and they shun being looked down upon and be judged unfairly.

As DOH-10 regional coordinator for AIDS Evelyn Magsayo said, “AIDS is a disease that recognizes no territorial, social and political and economic boundary for which there is no cure. These HIV patients are also human beings. They deserve to have an improved quality of life.”

Arnold does not expect pity, but he deserves to be treated like a normal human being. He may be infected, but he, too, has ambitions in life and deserves to be happy, despite his situation. And his story is full of lessons for all of us.

Life, indeed is full of surprises, happy and sad. Sometimes, our day puts us in a situation that would leave a lasting impression on us, an experience we will always remember and learn from. On that day, Arnold has touched my being, and I wish I could do something more for him and others like him…

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